SPARE THE ROD AND EMPOWER THE CHILD

Could physical and verbal child abuse be responsible for the violence and low standardized test scores in the black community?


As we struggle to understand why so many African American children and adults lag behind their white counterparts on standardized tests, researchers have discovered some startling new information.

Dr. Murray Straus, a professor of sociology and co-director of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire has found a link between how parents discipline their children and the IQ of those children.

According to the findings, children who are spanked have lower IQs than those who aren't. "How often parents spanked made a difference," Straus said in a news release from the university. "The more spanking, the slower the development of the child's mental ability. But even small amounts of spanking made a difference."

So what does that have to do with African Americans? According to research conducted by Dr. Alvin Poussaint, professor of Psychiatry at Harvard University, "There's an overuse of beating kids" in our community. "You have a disparity in white and black communities in which 80% of black parents believe you should beat the devil out of them." says Poussaint.
Dr. Poussaint made his comments during a forum called "The Future of African American Men", at around 51 minutes into the program which aired on C-Span. You can view the entire program here.

Dr. Poussaint says there are "very high levels of child abuse and neglect" in the black community. He says black boys are the preferred targets of this abuse, which also includes verbal attacks. Poussaint says helpless, innocent 2-year-olds are called " you idiot" and "stupid" and are told "you're no good just like your father."

Dr. Poussaint says such physical and verbal abuse makes the children angry."Research shows the more you beat them, the angrier they get," Poussaint says, and it's that rage that eventually turns into violence.

According to the Yale Child Study Center, blacks are being expelled from preschool at alarming rates. The black to white ratio is 2 to 1. And 9 out of every 10 black expulsions are boys. According to the study, boys who are three and four years old, barely out of diapers, are being kicked out for being aggressive, violent, and for using adult language.

According to Dr. Poussaint it's that same childhood rage created by abusive parents that later makes it so easy for gangbangers to pull the trigger

As if higher academic achievement and peaceful African American neighborhoods aren't enough incentive,Dr. Rahil Briggs, a child psychologist with the Children's Hospital at Montefiore in New York City, says there's another upside to not beating your kids. She says regardless of how you do it, disciplining your child is a teaching moment.

"If you spank, you teach your child that hitting is the way to deal with a situation," she said. "But if you use other methods of discipline, you can begin teaching your child higher-level cognitive skills, self-control, cause-and-effect and logical thinking."

So what should you be doing instead of hitting? Dr. Poussaint shares some ideas here.

You can also get some powerful ideas from parenting expert Bolanle Ambonisye at www.tappingourparentalpower.com

More parenting resource information can be found on the parenting resource page of The New Black Revolution.Com.here


Please don't let it end here. Please forward this blog to others. And if you find this to be a topic of importance, please comment below.

WHITNEY HAS ALREADY WON

"You keep saying kick it, quit it, Lord but have you every tried? To turn you sick soul inside out so that the world, so that the world, can watch you die."
Esther Phillips, Home Is Where The Hatred Is/From a Whisper to a Scream.

I'm writing this on the eve of what could be one of the greatest show business comebacks in history. After suffering a bad marriage and what appears to be years of drug abuse, Whitney Houston is attempting a comeback.

Houston released a new album on August 31...and as I write this, she's only 13 hours away from her first TV performance in seven years...a mini concert on ABC's Good Morning America. I know this because the GMA website has a special clock that's counting down the hours and minutes. So why am I writing about this?
Forget about Jack and the Bean Stalk and Hansel and Gretel. Hers is a cautionary fairly tale turned horror story that every African American child should learn by heart. She had everything...a talented voice, incredible looks, fame, and untold wealth. She was born into a famous show business family. Even her Godmother was famous. But all that fame and talent and money was no match for the drugs that consumed her. Yes, I said it. You don't consume drugs. They consumed you.

Houston apparently made the mistake all drug abusers make. She thought she was so clever she could control the drug. And like all the others she was wrong. No matter what your friends, spouse, lover, or the drug dealer promise you...the drug will always be stronger than you are. You cannot bargain with a thief.

Someone probably told Whitney you can't get hooked the first time. They probably led her to believe that her life would not be complete until she discovered "how good it was."
When I speak to young kids about drugs, I warn them. Sometimes it's best not to know how good something is. Because even if you manage to kick the habit, the desire for the drug will torture you for the rest of you life.

Although it airs tomorrow...Wednesday, September 2, Whitney actually taped the performance today(see the photo above). And some reports say it was less than perfect. But that doesn't really matter. The fact that she had the courage to face her demons head on means she's already won. Let's hope a victory for Whitney encourages others to face theirs.

IT BEGINS WITH A THOUGHT

I was gathered with friends one day having a conversation about the state of Black America when one of them said it.

"My grandmother used to tell me," he said, "that the white man will only let you rise so high." As I looked around the room, adults were nodding in agreement, but they weren't the only ones listening. Three young boys were also soaking it in...every word.

How many of us buy into the theory of the all knowing all powerful white boogey man who has complete control over our lives?

In slavery times, when master didn't have nearly enough men to guard us 24/7, this myth was probably a useful tool that kept more of us from walking away. Now I believe it's the source of many of our problems.

Too many of us are not living up to our full potential because we feel it's no use even trying. And because of that we settle for less than the success we deserve.

I'm sure grandma meant well. She probably wanted to prepare her grandchildren to take "their place" in the world...a dangerous world filled with hurt and disappointment. But rather than lowering our children's expectations, we should be making them fearless.

Let's tell our children that even during the worst period of racism when the master seemed to have complete control, thousands of fearless slaves proved the boogey man theory wrong by stealing away to freedom.

Let's tell our children that racism is not something to be feared. It's something to be conquered.

Let's tell our children that every victory they have...a good grade, refusing to join a gang, avoiding drugs, learning to read...is a blow against the racist stereotypes that fuel hate.

And most of all, let's tell our children that nothing can stop them from succeeding...but them.